I ran across this lovely little ditty recently, it's a utilitarian approach to a love poem.

You are aesthetically pleasing,
the reason for which I first noticed in you.
And later I found your personality equally pleasing.
I also noted your chest to waist ratio is suitable for birthing.
Therefore, I think you should live in my house.

I'm not pointing any fingers here but there seems to be a lot of that kind of love going around at the moment. You look nice, lets live together. It's a challenge for the emerging pastor to gently confront our culture (or when necessary tread lightly and carry a big stick).

I can never think of a better way to inspire people towards godliness than giving them the higher aspirations of God. Listen to what Paul says love is:

 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love is so much more than "Hey I like the look of you" and when we model it to others, it can become a higher ideal that we can all aspire too. It is the only way we can combat the photoshopped, vanilla, lust fueled and disposable version of love offered up to us.

That's the kind of love I want to have!

A lecturer once had us perform an exercise were we enumerated our core values and provided a short explanation of each of the values.
His reasoning was that if you do not have something by which to measure your tasks and activities you will end up doing everything and be satisfied with none of them.

I developed my core values and afterwards I found I was able to say no to things that I previously felt unable to. It was liberating the first time, I was asked to take up a position of youth pastor and I said with complete confidence that the role was completely outside of what I consider my strengths and values, therefore, no.

The most profound lesson I learnt from the process is are my values really values or are they just preferences.

Preferences are those things we would like to value, or think we value but we do not show by our lives. If I say I value honesty but have no qualms with not handing back that extra $20 note the check out chick then what I have is not a true value but a preference for honesty.

Besides being completely hypocritical it's one of those things that cause us to go around seeking the spec in our neighbours eye. (I can't help but think of those people who legislate against homosexuality and find themselves with their pants down in an airport toilet).

There isn't a problem having a preference on something as long as we are honest with ourselves and acknowledge that it's aspirational and not core to our behaviour and lives.

The reason this has all come up for me is not because I've been operating outside of my core values but I've come to question the published core values of my church. This isn't a bad thing, more of a review. In the past 5 years we have moved more towards welfare and social justice but we do not reflect that in our stated values. Likewise some of our stated values look to be more aspirational which again isn't an issue, it's good to seek out different ways of looking at life but if it isn't who you are then don't state it as a value state it as a development goal. Doing this should help to make us mindful of our aspiration and remove the charge of hypocrisy.

Look at it this way. At the moment I have strong tape holding back both of my shoulders. It's part of my treatment for carpal tunnel syndrome. When my shoulders are pulled back it promotes proper posture and reduces the strain on my carpal nerve. I aspire to have those shoulders pulled back at all times but in the mean time I need the tape to gently remind me of my goal. If I told my physio that there is nothing wrong with my posture and I'm only slumping at the moment because of the chair I'm sitting in (something I nearly did yesterday because of pride) then I am clearly lying to her, myself and everyone around me.

If your wondering, my core values are:

• Teaching: Through small groups and preaching to challenge groups of both Christians and non-Christians in their journey of faith.
• Mentoring:  Investing my time and my experience with the individual to help grow and deepen their commitment to Jesus.
• Family: Commitment of my time and attention to strengthen the bond between my wife and I as well as my extended family.
• Relevant:  Understanding the context of my ministry and shaping both myself and my approach to it.
• Authenticity: Showing my true self to those I meet and encouraging them to do the same.
• Leadership: Seeking to understand God’s purpose for His people and guiding them in the parts they play.