Well well well, today I have reached a milestone in my ministry, study and Christian walk.

Today I put in the mail my application for endorsement as a Pastor in Churches of Christ NSW. Endorsement is basically the equivalent to ordination in most other denominations and it affords me no restrictions on the tasks I may perform in the church.

I was told by the coordinating body that I was basically pre-aproved and just needed to get the documentation in but it's still an exciting time and I'm a little nervous waiting for it to come back!

Please pray for me, I know that during times like this the enemy likes to get in my ear and tell me I am not deserving of such things even though I know that it's not true.

I had the pleasure of catching the train with a friend this morning. This friend and I debate and solve all the worlds problems every time we get together, it's a great iron sharpens iron time.

Out conversation momentarily touched on exclusivity and how it affects us. Consider this...

One day I bought the Serenity DVD box set, my wife and I watched it, enjoyed it and loved it. We lent the box set to this same friend and his wife, they watched it, enjoyed it, loved it and became fanatical about it :)
Not long after they ordered their own copy which didn't come in a cardboard box, rather it had a fancy smancy tin box.
Well I felt ripped off and envious of my friend because I didn't have the fancy tin box. So annoyed was I that I planned to go out and buy it.

Stop, hammer time!

What's going on here? I soon came to my senses and realized that my friend didn't really have anything more than I had, and even if he did, what does it matter?

There seems to be something wired into us that quests for the biggest, newest and shiniest objects. The tin box, the larger house, the best looking wife (I win there suckers! :)

I believe that this is part of our sinful nature that we can redeem. Instead of lusting after the better house or car or XBox, how about we redirect our desire into seeing God's will be done for the poor in our community. Let us boast about how there is no one in need in our community and spur the next town over to do the same.

I've been reading a lot about monastic orders recently and I think that they had something going for them, let's spurn the desire to accumulate treasures on earth and instead build up our heavenly storehouse!

It's about credibility, would you follow a pastor who built up his house instead of the church? The call to be an emerging pastor is in this detail, being counter to the consumer driven culture of this world.

Personally, I'm still trying to get the balance right but that's a step in the right direction.

I've been polishing up my CV lately in anticipation of applying for a new ministry position somewhere. When I say polishing up I actually mean creating from scratch because I've never really had to apply for one.

So far my paid pastoral employment is as a visiting speaker to churches and a part time wage I draw from my church to support my college tuition. I've held a lot of roles but never have I applied outside of this church for a job.

I'm not jumping ship yet but I sought out some advice about what to put on a CV for ministry and there were some things I didn't think about.

There's experience of course. I detailed different ministries I had been involved with and my role within them. I included a very brief rundown of my secular work experience (my I. T. CV runs to about 6 pages at the moment) as well as something about my passion.

The advice I received from the head of leadership development for my denomination (the guy who also co-ordinates a lot of jobs) was to include two sections. Firstly "What I contribute to the team" and secondly "What I want to learn from your team".

Both of these gave me pause for reflection, this isn't just a job, ministry is a calling (something I actually said in my "Passion" section) so what is it exactly that I believe God is calling me to do? To learn and to teach?

In secular employment you can take a job that isn't a 100% fit because you know you can just move on (very Gen X/Y of me) but being called to a place to minister should take a great deal more of reflection, prayer and introspection, shouldn't it?

So emerging pastor, let's ask the questions, what do I bring to the team and what do I want to learn before we put in that application form. Perhaps God may want to inform us a little bit here.

These thoughts have been circling my head for a little while, it's about our ambition.

I consider myself a very ambitious person, I look for opportunities to develop, grow, excel and climb higher in my corporate position. I've had to do a lot of thinking about how ambition reconciles with ministry because the drivers are not the same.

Sure if I was (still) a Catholic I could seek opportunities to become a bishop (although being able to only move diagonally doesn't really appeal to me) or a cardinal. But as a run of the mill protestant there are not many opportunities to climb the ladder.

There is a school of thought that suggests that we subliminate (push down, bury) our thoughts and feelings such as ambition in the context of ministry but I don't really like that idea much. I feel that God has made me this way for a reason and it can be used for his kingdom if only I could figure out how.

Sublimination also seems to be a counterproductive exercise because that suppressed ambition may express itself in a more unhelpful way down the road.

I've thought that I could apply my ambition to a goal such as winning as many souls as possible but on the face it that always seems so contrived an answer. We should all showing the gospel to people but if I base my ambition on it I will be falsely disappointed if someone does not come into God's family. It's a dangerous thing to base your ambition on something out of your control, after all it is the Holy Spirit that convicts.

The working draft of my thinking lately places ambition as motivation towards effectiveness in the broader sense.

Being effective in ministry to paraphrase Paul (2 Timothy 2ff) is to be a soldier of Christ, to be an athlete striving and to be a farmer working hard each day.

If my ambition is to be redeemed it has to be towards these goals, to be an effective soldier of Christ by listening to my commanding officer at all times, not being distracted by fleeting fads and thoughts. To be an effective athlete I need to be in training each day and to be an effective farmer I need to get up each day and do what needs to be done, not putting off the planting, sowing or reaping until another day.